December 24th, 2015: Snack Review: Vimto Sweets
Posted by Gravecat at 10:08 am under Snack Reviews. Comment?

Vimto sweets In lieu of anything more important to say — and largely because I have a significant stash of snacks nearby, taunting me to consume them — it’s time for another snack review, this time a plethora of Vimto sweets. Before I begin, full disclosure: I’d describe myself as quite the fan of Vimto, so I may be a little biased here. However, if you know you don’t like Vimto, then why the hell would you be buying and willingly consuming Vimto sweets?

First of all, the Vimto hard candy pictured at the top-left. Almost exactly the size and shape of the top joint of my index finger, this remarkably unremarkable sweet is pretty much exactly what you’d expect of it — no more and no less. It’s Vimto in solid form, and has a satisfying if entirely predictable flavour. For what it’s trying to be, it couldn’t possibly do a better job. Three thumbs up.

Secondly, the Vimto lollipop pictured, a similar yet not exactly identical formula, one which largely matches the expected flavour but also carries with it a slightly metallic aftertaste that I can’t quite explain. It’s acceptable enough — if a little on the small side — and while the ingredients label insists it’s made of the same thing as the hard candy, I’d insist that at least the quantities used are slightly different — or perhaps it was just a different batch.

The fortress-like pack of chewy sweets is next on the list, requiring a surprising amount of effort and a small pair of scissors to gain access to. I can’t shake the feeling that both the packet and individual sweets are smaller than comparable offerings such as Starburst, and as I unwrap the sweets, I’m vexed as they cling aggressively to the paper wrappers. While the hard candy and lolly were fairly long-lasting and matched the Vimto flavour adequately, the chewy sweets — which I expected to enjoy immensely — turned out to be a little disappointing. The flavour is adequate yet a little overwhelming, but the sweets themselves seem to dissolve away into a pulpy nothing with only a few chews, and this paragraph alone took about half the entire packet just to get a decent enough review.

Finally, the candy spray brought with it the most trepidation and lurking dread. The bottle size and shape bears a striking resemblance to cleaning fluids I’ve sprayed on my glasses, and part of me has dreadful mental images of a mis-translation, causing me to spray Vimto-scented anti-antiperspirant into my throat. This could only end badly, but I suffer for my readers, and so I risked it. The result was best described as anticlimactic bullshit, with a few tiny sprays of very strongly-flavoured vapor finding its way to my tongue before the entire thing ceased to work, further presses on the lid resulting in nothing, despite the bottle clearly being mostly full with fluid. I would describe the sensation as similar to vaping — which is to say, smoking an electronic cigarette — only a dozen times more vile, and without the pleasant nicotine accompaniment. For the love of all that is holy, please do not ever try this. My tongue tastes of ozone and regret.

Overall, I’d say my total experience with these Vimto sweets was mildly poor, but largely biased towards the negative by the atrocious “candy spray”. What the fuck, Vimto?

D: Poor

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